Hey put some pants on my guy
30 June 2020
The Remote Meeting Etiquette Guide
by Sarah
Matt and I have been working remotely for over a decade, so we've seen it all when it comes to video call snafus. Want to ace your video meetings and nab that promotion? Follow our simple guide!
1. Always wear bottoms.
Hey, we get it. Your co-workers can only see you from the waist up. Why not, right? Nobody will ever know the difference!
Wrong.
This is just a risk you don't need to take. Put some trousers on, please!
2. Send your lover(s) packing.
Ideally, you're going to want to keep your unintentional nudes to a strict minimum.
A news anchor in Spain was doing a live hit when a semi-naked woman (who is not his wife) walked into the frame. Oops!!!
If you happen to be stepping out on a significant other who isn't cool with it, maybe that "strict minimum" should be closer to "zero".
3. Make sure your decor is appropriate.
Matt worked with someone for several years who continually attended video calls with… "erotic" art behind him, always in frame. Not to be a prude, but maybe leave that for the after-work social video call.
If you do WFH and have a Skype meeting, always consider if the 'art' on the wall is: A) In shot B) Appropriate
Hot tip: your pre-meeting prep should always include opening up Photo Booth (or some other camera app) and checking to see what's in frame. This is also an excellent opportunity to make sure your hair looks good and you aren't at a super weird angle. (I like to prop my laptop up on a pile of cookbooks so it's aimed straight at my face, rather than angled up like I'm some sort of demi-god. YMMV.)
4. Lock your door.
Children: life's little embarrassing moment machines.
My kid just walked into my video conference, yelled "look at my penis," and hit the button on his fart machine. Working from home going really great!
5. Turn off your mic before cussing out your colleagues.
Or, you know, don't cuss them out at all, but apparently that doesn't work for everyone.
Amazing reaction to a Zoom accident by the Welsh Assembly’s Vaughan Gething today politico.eu/article/uks-vi…
Always remember: the internet is forever, and there's a good chance that if you act like a jackass, the internet will reward you by immortalising the incident on your otherwise relatively scant Wikipedia page.
6. Drinking is fine. Just use a mug.
Because nothing says classy like a mug full of wine.
Maybe wait until after the meeting to hit up your bong, though.
7. Mute your mic!
First class of the day, Professor asks us to unmute our Mic's to make the classroom setting on zoom more "real". Now listening to lecture plus 2 people breathing heavily and 1 munching on chips loudly into the mic #COVID19 #Virtual #ZoomUniversity #zoomfail
If you want to mute your mic super fast, or see an indicator during your meetings, we even wrote an app for that! If you're using a Mac, Mic Drop mutes your mic from any app.
8. Never apologise for your pets.
Not everyone will find your screaming children charming, but I guarantee that everyone will find your cat an absolute delight.
DO NOT APOLOGISE WHEN YOUR PETS JUMP INTO THE FRAME ON ZOOM CALLS. Was just in a conference with the CEOs of a major US org and Muffin jumped on my lap and the whole conversation stopped, IS THAT A CAT, SHOW ME THE CAT! Everyone needs cats in these trying times.
We'd all rather be watching cat videos than doing this meeting. 🐈